Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
are you so shy because you have an std?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
