put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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