Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You did what with his pubic hair?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
