So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
