A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
