you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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