I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm like, not good at living.
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