the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize