I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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