watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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