So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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