i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
