Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
