I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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