sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
