i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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