We won't sleep together?
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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