Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
