Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
