there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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