Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
