he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
