You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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