FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
