are you still at the devil's house?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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