He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
