Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
