Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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