i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
