I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
