i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
