Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
