did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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