Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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