Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
