You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My dick has a subreddit
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
