god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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