TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
