apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
