Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
