Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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