i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
