Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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