I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
