I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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