We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
