the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
