Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
