Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Everything about him screamed your future.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize