Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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