Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
