4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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