omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
honey bunches of taint.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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