im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
