Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
