oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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