He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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